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June 5, 2007

God Gets Angry With Rudy Giuliani


Apparently the Lord doesn't like it when candidates give non-committal answers. "Errr... uhhh... I don't like abortion... but errr... ummm.... women should get to choose.... so ummm.... errr.... I think the states should decide."

June 6, 2007

Barack Obama Steals My Schtick

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Hey B.O., there already is a super hero in this race... me. You gotta earn it man.

"A healthy breakfast makes you feel like a super hero all day" - Mr Breakfast

June 11, 2007

John McCain: Prison Camp Arms

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If you watched the recent debates, you may have noticed that John McCain's body language seemed a little stiff. In the May 2007 debate, he made the forceful statement, "We will bring him (Osama bin Laden) to justice and I will follow him to the gates of hell." Unfortunately, the strong words were accompanied by short jarring tiny hand gestures and an insane little smile.

John McCain's gimpy arms are the result of 5 and 1/2 years in a North Vietnamese prison camp, during which time he suffered multiple fractures to his right arm and a dislocated left shoulder. McCain also had a bayonet shoved in his left leg, but that injury does not seem to effect his current debate performances.

On the humorous side - if there is a humorous side to prison camp torture... a senior adviser to the McCain campaign remembers a moment at the 2000 Republican convention when President Bush raised John McCain's hand in the air to signify victory. McCain's victory smile quickly turned to a grimace of pain.

So we've explained the strange short hand gestures. As for the insane little smile, I can only guess that the man is a little insane. But aren't we all. Me? I'm insane for breakfast. But you know who's really insane? People who skip breakfast. They are four times more likely to become obese than people who eat breakfast according to Harvard University.

Continue reading "John McCain: Prison Camp Arms" »

Hillary Clinton, Porn and Pancakes



When I first saw this headline, I was furious... thinking that Hillary Clinton had adopted my pre-9-11 position that porno and pancakes go together. (I've since pulled a Romney. Porn and pancakes should be kept separate. def. "pulling a Romney": changing an ideal or position to suit a current audience or timeline; slang: flip-flop).

This may only be a cute MSNBC blooper, but I think it highlights Hillary Clinton's lack of a position on the importance of breakfast.

Did you know children who eat breakfast perform better on standardized achievement tests and have fewer behavior problems in school ? That (and 100 more statistics) is what my campaign is about. The closest thing Senator Hillary has to a position on breakfast is an esoteric non-connection to pancakes and porno. I ask you... who do you want making policies for your children in 2008?

The Mitt Romney Gosh Dang Drinking Game

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Real quotes from Presidential Contender Mitt Romney:

"Gosh. I love America."

"Liquefied coal, gosh."

"Some people would say, Gosh, I don’t know much about your faith...'"

"Oh gosh, look at this group of friends, my goodness, thank you so much. "

"'Gosh, can't I get some more of those visas...'"

"It’s like gosh, you know, for guys that want to be able to talk about the jihad and getting our economy going and fixing our schools, that’s kind of a narrow question."

“And when you decide who you want to vote for, you don’t say, ‘Gosh, I wonder what my city councilor is going to do.’"

"When people say around the country, gosh. We’ve got forty million people that are uninsured. There’s no need for the government to take over health care to solve this problem."

"I believe, serious, for John Kennedy when he ran for president. People said oh, gosh, Ronald Reagan, he's been an actor who's been divorced, you can't elect him."

"Gosh, I hope as little as possible." (Regarding how much of his personal wealth he'll spend on his campaign.)

"I looked at some of his (Teddy Roosevelt) policies and said, gosh..."

Now go back and read the quotes and say "Beaver" or "Sheriff Andy" after every instance of "gosh". If it sounds like a 50's TV show, drink.

On an unrelated note, isn't the term "phony bologna" kind of weird. I mean, most bologna is sort of a meat composite. So you wouldn't really make phony bologna out of, say, turkey. Hmmmn... maybe soy would work. Anyway... just a litlte something that popped in my mind.

Vote Breakfast!

Bonus Recipe: Bologna Omelet Cups

June 12, 2007

Thou Shalt Be Rudy Giuliani

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And lo... thouest he was nearly struck by lightning at the recent Republican debate whilst he speaketh-ing about abortion, the Lord still sayeth "Rudy, thou shall write 12 commitments... for thouest must showeth that thou still be religious." And lo... so it was that Rudy Giuliani laid out his plan for America.

And woe.... that our nation's Fathers before him wrote Declarations and Constitutions to guide our great country. It was this day that Rudy Giuliani wrote a bullet-pointed list and titled it with word play on the the 10 Commandments. And so it was And dat be da truth.

Meanwhile in Los Angeles, a dude named Mr Breakfast gave the voters, not 12, but 178 recipes for pancakes.

Continue reading "Thou Shalt Be Rudy Giuliani" »

June 13, 2007

Quote McCain: DiCaprio... Androgynous Wimp

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"Like every other 13-year-old in America, she's (McCain's Daughter) in love with Leonardo DiCaprio, who I think is an androgynous wimp. You know what he does throughout the whole movie Titanic? He smokes."
- Sen. John McCain, The Washington Post, June 1998

"My daughter is in love with Leonardo DiCaprio, and this has created a severe crisis in my life."
-Sen. John McCain , The Seattle Times, Tuesday, May 18, 1999

On a related side note, this appears to be the second time in two days that I've placed a man's head on a "sexy" body. Maybe it's time for me to check myself. Fortunately, I already support gay rights.

Vote 4 Breakfast 2008!

June 16, 2007

Australians Sum Up Democratic Race



Hillary Clinton fans sounded off about this clip on the video's YouTube page.

Comments included:

"a little over the top , some ladies really do not need to be harrassed like that. i would not appreciate someone making those kind of crude comments to me or trying to force half naked harry men pictures in my face."

"Hmmm, Not funny!"

"this is kind of cruel"

These comments prompted the English and Australian viewers of the video to say Americans need to lighten up.

I agree that we Americans need to lighten up. Did you know... Researchers from the National Weight Control Registry, a database of more than 3,000 people who have lost at least 60 pounds and kept it off for an average of 6 years, found that eating breakfast every day was a weight control strategy for 78% of the people in the registry. People who kept off weight long-term also reported eating a low-fat diet and exercising for an hour or more each day.

June 18, 2007

McCain's Anti-Romney Website

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Recently politico.com reported that the John McCain campaign purchased MittVsFact.com (i.e. Mitt Romney Versus Honest Statements), for the seemingly obvious purpose of taking online jabs at his opponent. But on 6/15/07, John McCain said, "We’re not going to do that... We’re not going to set up a Web site against anyone.”

If you'd like to set up your own anti-Romney website, you'd better act now. The URLs are going fast. The following have already been taken: MittVsFact.com, RomneySucks.com, MittRomneySucks.com, MittRomneyLies.com, RomneyLies.com, MittRomneyBlows.com and RomneyMustgo.Com.

As of 6/17/07, the following URLs were still available: RomneyFlipFlop.com, MittVsReality.com and MittVsTruth.com.

Interestingly - depending on your interest in the unlikely, both RomneyMcCain08.com and McCainRomney08.com have been taken.

June 20, 2007

Hill-Dawg: Another Weird Campaign Video



One day after Mike Gravel released his insane campaign video, major Presidential contender Hillary (Hill-Dawg) Clinton comes out with this gem. The video is spoof on the final scene of the Sopranos HBO television series. Personally, I love the Sopranos and I understand the video. But I can't help thinking of my parents and the other half of America who don't watch the Sopranos. To them, this video must seem as esoteric as Gravel's video. What could the video mean to Joe Midwest who doesn't (probably can't afford) cable? A Presidential candidate and a former President go into a diner. They eat carrots and a menacing Italian man stares them down. They talk about music and the screen goes blank. Hmmmnn.

The craziest thing about this video is the reason it exists. It's a little promo piece to announce Hill-Dawg's new campaign song. If you look closely at the jukebox she's looking though, you'll see following songs go by: "Rock This Country" by Shania Twain, "I'm A Believer" by Smash Mouth and "Get Ready" by the Temptations - all perfectly logical campaign songs. Perhaps the best campaign song of all time is constantly playing in the background, "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey. But what did Hillary ultimately choose? "You and I" by Celine Dion, a Canadian.

The current top contender for our campaign song is "Breakfast In America" by Supertramp, but with the lyric "girlfriend" being replaced by the phrase "Iraqi War".

June 25, 2007

Simpsons Star Calls Hillary Clinton A Fraud



Jackie Mason, the Emmy Award winning voice of Rabbi Hyman Krustofski on the popular television series The Simpsons, has launched a video tirade against Democratic Presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.

The 79 year old comedian is known to older generations for "politically incorrect" routines apt to focus on Jewish and American life. At one point in is career Mason was so well known that he was impersonated to create the voice for the Aardvark in the popular cartoon series The Ant and the Aardvark.

On Sunday, a new video appeared on Mason's You Tube page titled "TheUltimateJew". In the video, Mason talks about Hillary Clinton: "This yenta, Hillary..."; "she's a fake and a fraud"; "She's totally corrupt..."

Of Clinton and Obama, he says, "These are empty headed morons."

Regarding their Republican counterparts, Mason says, "Every single one of the predominant Republican candidates are brilliant, capable people."

While the aging comedian makes certain valid points regarding Senator Clinton and her involvement with scandal and Senator Obama and his lack of experience, his pro-Republican message is obscured by the Republican-esque image of a man of certain wealth standing beneath a mansion-esque painting.

When asked about the video, Presidential contender Mr Breakast said, "It's funny if you shut your eyes and imagine the Aardvark cartoon."

June 26, 2007

Mitt Romney Looks Like An Aging Ken Doll

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It's been bothering me for days. Who does Mitt Romney remind me off? He's glossy; always so well groomed; he always has that made-for-tv smile. Then today, it hit me. Mitt Romney looks a Ken doll - the post-1962 doll when Mattel changed his hair from flocked to molded and painted.

Visually, Mitt Romney is like a plastic man-doll. Some might even say a Presidential-looking man-doll.

Fellow Presidential candidate Tom Tancredo wonders if a presidential image is enough.



Neither Romney nor Tancredo have revealed policies on the Importance of Breakfast.

Is John Edwards A Sissy?

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John Edwards is is the Presidential candidate who looks like a little boy in a time when we need a President who can appear tough.

Ann Coulter is a fun-to-watch right-wing loud mouth who used to have great legs before she got sickeningly skinny.

What happens when you get them together? Ugghhh.

Back in March, Coulter inferred that Edwards was in her words "a faggot" during a political action committee meeting in Washington. The comments were an attempt at mean-spirited humor that brought a few uncomfortable chuckles. There was obviously no real inference that Edwards was gay. The derogatory statement was used in a grade-school bully manner to suggest that Edwards was weak and girlish.

Now we're in June and what does Edwards do? He continues to validates her suggestion by shouting "hate-speech" in another desperate attempt to raise money. If you visit https://johnedwards.com/action/contribute/coulter, you can see the first attempt Edwards made to raise money off of Coulter's ill-conceived slur. If you visit, http://johnedwards.com/rightwing/, you can see his latest (completely out of context) attempt.

Posting videos of Coulter's comments on his site is an attempt to gain financial sympathy and it's equivalent to a fat guy wearing a t-shirt that says, "Ann Coulter called me a at Fat Guy." A smart fat guy would either lose some weight or boldly say, "I am not a fat guy" or "So what if I'm a fat guy... deal with it."

What if Edwards becomes President and another nation calls us something. I want a President who says, "Hey... America is not what you say!" or admit that we are what they say and have the guts to fix America. Or there's the Edwards' solution: whimper about it and try to capitalize on victimization... like some scum that breaks his finger in a car accident and then sues the other driver for all they're worth.

Sadly, if I had to pick a better American... Edwards or Coulter... it'd be Edwards. Ann Coulter doesn't offer solutions for America just criticism. Edwards has a handful of good ideas for our country.

But what more can Edwards do to show us that he's a sissy? First, there was the video of the Senator grooming himself like a young girl preparing for the prom. Then there's the above mentioned examples of Edward's crying over criticism.

And today... on the MSNBC program Hardball, Ann Coulter was promoting her new paperback. And who calls in but Elizabeth Edwards, John Edwards' wife, to say "stop the personal attacks".

Apparently, John Edwards' mommy wasn't available.

If someone calls me names, you have my promise that I won't cry and sic my wife on them. I'll either confront them and put a stop to it or dismiss them as not worth my time. That's what I would do. And I think that's what a good President would do. My name is Mr Breakfast and I want to be your President.

June 27, 2007

Barack Obama Dress-Up Doll

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Barack Obmam in shorts. Hillary Clinton in underwear. Rudy Giuliani in high heels. It's up to you. If you visit cartoondollemporium.com, you can find on-line paper dolls of the three politicians and a selection of clothing to dress them up... with just a drag of your mouse. You can even give them accessories like books and political buttons. Now if we could just find a way to give them fresh ideas and solutions for America.

At ToyPresidents.com, you can find an actual physical doll of Hilary Clinton. Hill-Dawg has never looked so good. In fact, the doll looks nothing like Hillary Clinton. It does have a certain resemblance to Gillian Anderson from the X-Files.

For an adorable little Teddy Bear wearing a "Vote For Breakfast 2008" t-shirt, visit CafePress.com.

eBay Action To Meet Hillary Clinton

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Currently on eBay, the charity organization December Rain is auctioning up a chance for for one lucky, super-wealthy bidder (and a guest) to have a meal with Hill-Dawg and Bill Clinton. The package includes air fare and hotel stay and the bidding starts at a mere $10,000 dollars.

Click here to see the page on eBay.

Other Hillary Clinton items available now on eBay include: a set of 51 political pins, a life-size cardboard cut -out of the candidate, a latex mask and a "very rare" Hillary Clinton cat toy.

Incidentally, you can have a breakfast with independent Presidential candidate Mr. Breakfast for only $1,000 -$50 of which will be distributed to homeless guys at the liquor store near the candidate's apartment. See contact information below.

June 29, 2007

Flashback: Ron Paul On Morton Downey Jr. Show



The year is 1988. Our President is Ronald Regan. The race for a new President is in full swing (a race to be won by George Herbert Walker Bush). The Libertarian candidate for President is Ron Paul. Unable to get serious recognition in major debates, Dr. Paul makes an appearance on The Morton Downey Jr. Show - a program that makes Jerry Springer look like Little House On The Prairie. The audience is made up of some of the worst people in America. The host is a "maniac" according to The Washington Post.

Equipped with many of the same ideal and principals he'll later bring to the 2008 election, Dr. Paul faces off.... How will he do?

On a personal note: I was glad to find the following video clips on YouTube. Unfortunately some yahoo inter-splices occasional comments into the clip... like we really need to be told these people are nuts. Enjoy the (longer) clips below and please forgive the added commentary.

Continue reading "Flashback: Ron Paul On Morton Downey Jr. Show" »

July 1, 2007

10 Things You May Not Know About Barack Obama

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In our ongoing campaign to inform the voters about ALL of the candidates for President, here are a couple interesting facts about Barack Obama that you may not know.

  1. Barack Obama has a Grammy Award! He won for Best Spoken Word Album in 2006 for the audio book edition of his book Dreams From My Father.

  2. In High School, Barack Obama went by the name Barry Obama.

  3. Barack Obama played varsity basketball in High School. He earned the nickname "Barry O'Bomber" from his excellent jump shot.

  4. Barack Obama's middle name is Hussein - spelled the same way as Saddam Hussein Abd al-Majid al-Tikriti, the executed, former-President of Iraq.

  5. Barack Obama is half-Caucasian (from his mother's side). His father hailed from the Nyanza Province of Kenya. His mother was a native of Wichita, Kansas.

  6. Barack Obama is a former millionaire. In 2005, he claimed taxable income of $1.6 million. For 2006, he claimed only $983,826. His Senate salary for 2006 was reported at $157,082. Of the many hundreds of thousands of dollars Obama earned, he gave $60,307 to charity.

  7. Barack Obama was the first African-American president of the Harvard Law Review.

  8. Barack Obama announced his run for President of the United States with less than three years experience in politics on a national level. Prior to 2004, he served in the Illinois State Senate.

  9. Barack Obama is sometimes called "Alabama" or "Yo Mama". In a June 2007 speech in Hampton, Virginia, he said "Because people just couldn't pronounce (my name). They'd call me " Alabama," or they'd call me "Yo Mama."

  10. Barack Obama has no policy on the Importance of Breakfast.

July 17, 2007

Clinton And Edwards: Too Cool For School



Everybody knows it requires a big ego to run for President. You have to stand before the American people time and time again and somehow project that you are worth listening to. To be a superstar, you have believe that you are a superstar to a certain degree.

But the disgusting egocentric comments caught on video last week by John Edwards and Hilary Clinton take the cake.

Following the July 12, 2007 NAACP convention, Edwards and Clinton spoke privately, unaware that their comments were being recorded. Their not-so-secret discussion showed them revisiting a plan to rid future debates of lower profile candidates.


Edwards
...at some point... we should try to have a more serious and a smaller group...

Clinton
We've got to cut the number... because they are just being trivialized.

Edwards
...and they're not serious. They're not serious.

Clinton
You know... I think there was an effort by our campaigns to do that. It got somehow detoured. We've gotta get back to it... Our guys should talk.



Certainly other candidates in attendance such as Chris Dodd, Joe Biden and Bill Richardson consider their run for office to be serious.

As for the candidates that probably realize they have no realistic shot at the Presidency: The only reason that Mike Gravel seems to have been placed on Earth is to say to us, "Look at these candidates closely... there's a chance they are full of bologna." There's nothing trivial about that. Dennis Kucinich spoke for himself, "Whispering, trying to rig an election, then denying what's going on and making excuses. It all reflects a consistent lack of integrity."

After the egomaniacal comments, both Barrack Obama and Dennis Kuscinich approached Edwards and Clinton to bid them goodbye. The intonation in Hillary Clinton's voice when she said "Goodbye Dennis" would make anyone who remembers High School cliques cringe. You almost expets them to giggle when Kucinich is out of earshot, and hear Edwards say, "Oh my God... gross... I can't believed you talked to him."

young_nerds.jpgAt this point in the race, who does Hillary Clinton think she is? Does John Edwards really believe he is any closer being President than Bill Richardson or Joe Biden. I don't believe it. No one I know believes it. Achieving respect and admiration is cumulative process. Before Edwards and Clinton define themselves as the super cool kids of the political school, they should take a look at some old photographs. It wasn't that long ago that Dennis Kucinich looked like a movie star compared his more-recognizable competition.

As for dictating who should be considered seriously for our nation's highest office...

If I may offer my fellow candidates Clinton-Edwards a word of advice... just tell the American people your position on the issues and, maybe in the spirit of Democracy, you could let us work on slimming down the field of candidates. I know we're only simple American people... not the all-seeing Gods of politics that you seem to be... but we do have a passing familiarity with our nation's electoral process. We don't have "guys" that can talk for us, but maybe if we talk amongst ourselves, we can figure something out.


Presidential Candidate Mr Breakfast will continue to point out the foibles and goofs of all the candidates (regardless of party) until they reveal a position on the importance of breakfast.

July 18, 2007

Romney, McCain and "Tar Babies"

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"The best thing politically would be to stay as far away from that tar baby as I can." - Mitt Romney, July 2006, Ames, Iowa. Regarding: A troubled construction project in Boston.

"We are getting into a tar baby of enormous proportions and I don't know how you get out of that." - John McCain, March 2007, Cedar Falls, Iowa. Regarding: Federal involvement in custody cases.

It's understandable that political figures occasionally make verbal blunders. By nature, they talk a lot. Often, that's all they do.

However, it's unusual when two major candidates for the President make the same racially-insensitive blunder. In both situations, the candidates made public apologies and, in both cases, it seemed clear that they were not referring to "black children", as "tar babies" are defined in Wikipedia's List of Ethnic Slurs.

The now-politically-incorrect reference stems from an Uncle Remus story by Joel Chandler Harris. In the story, a fox and bear construct a doll made of tar to catch a rabbit. Once the rabbit came into contact with the doll, he struggled to get away only to become more entangled by the sticky tar. Thus, the term "tar baby" became popular to describe "a problem that gets worse the more one struggles against it".

"He was unaware that some people find the term objectionable and he's sorry..."
- Eric Fehrnstrom, Mitt Romney Spokesman (July 2006)

“I don’t think I should have used that word and I was wrong to do it.”
- John McCain (March 2007)

There may have been no real racist intent, but Romney and McCain were guilty of something else. Both men showed a complete ignorance of current events.

In May of 2006 - just two months before Romney's statement, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow was widely criticized for using the term "tar baby" in regard to a terror surveillance program. He said, "I don't want to hug the tar baby of trying to comment on the program -- the alleged program -- the existence of which I can neither confirm nor deny."

In fact, the term "tar baby" had been on any sensible politician's banned list since 1992 when it was reported that advisors for John Kerry called the Iraq war a "no-win tar baby".

If Mitt Romney and John McCain are unable to learn from the mistakes of others, they would be well-advised to look through Wikipedia's List of Ethnic Slurs. Americans no longer say "tar baby". People are not "Moon Crickets", "Spaghetti Benders" or "Teapots". People are people. We are American people and we want a President who will define our times with a dictionary of decency and hope. The word "tar baby" is not in the dictionary of a brighter tomorrow.


Also see: McCain Calls Vietnamese "Gooks" (07/04/07)


Presidential Candidate Mr Breakfast will continue to point out the foibles and goofs of all the candidates (regardless of party) until they reveal a position on the importance of breakfast.

July 19, 2007

Who Is A Bigger Woman: Hillary Clinton Or John Edwards?

Hillary Clinton


The New York Post ran an article recently called "Hill Not Woman Enough: Elizabeth Edwards" (07/17/07). It condensed statements that John Edwards' wife had made in a recent interview about Hillary Clinton.

According to Elizabeth Edwards, "Sometimes you feel like you have to behave as a man and not talk about women's issues.... She wants to be commander in chief. But she's just not as vocal a women's advocate as I want to see. John is."

In light of these statements pitting Clinton against Edwards on women's issues, we decided to conduct a scientific study to determine who is more of a woman... John Edwards or Hillary Clinton. The results will astound you.

To conduct our experiment, we used proprietary face recognition software from myheritage.com. After importing images of the two candidates, the mega-computers at myheritage matched the facial dimensions and distinctions against their tremendous database of celebrities and other recognizable individuals. To keep the results fair, we also included an image of Elizabeth Edwards to act as a null sample.

John Edwards


The images you see here are real. When the M.H. computers were asked to identify similar looking people, all three of our subjects created high-tech gender confusion. Hillary Clinton's picture returned the following lookalikes: Lucille Ball, Susan Sarandon, Sir Ian McKellen and Jon Voight.

The computers surmised that John Edwards resembled Tony Danza, Joe Montana and Katie Couric.

As for our null subject, Elizabeth Edwards - she too caused gender dysphoria. Her results: Joan Colins, Consuelo Velazquez and Chinese revolutionary Sun Yat Sen.

Having reached a tie in our computerized assessment of womanliness, we then turned to a subjective analysis of womanly traits displayed by the candidates. A point system was created. For instance, John Edwards' propensity for expensive hairdos and the amount of time he spends grooming himself earned 8 woman points. If a candidate showed a tendency to let their wives fight their battles for them, 6 woman points were awarded. If a candidate was in actuality a physical woman with breasts and female genitalia, the highest award of 10 points was given.

And the results...

Continue reading "Who Is A Bigger Woman: Hillary Clinton Or John Edwards?" »

July 27, 2007

John McCain: Sleeping Or Reading





Was Presidential Candidate John McCain sleeping at the State Of The Union address on January 23, 2007? The Senator claims he was reading.

Here's two examples of John McCain's unique style of reading.

Presidential Candidate Mr Breakfast will continue to point out the foibles and goofs of all the candidates (regardless of party) until they reveal a position on the importance of breakfast.

Studies show that eating breakfast reduces fatigue and sleepiness in the mid-morning hours.

July 30, 2007

Hillary Clinton Heckled: "All She Wants Is Power"

Hillary Clinton Heckled


According to CNN, Hillary Clinton was heckled during a speaking engagement Saturday by "an older woman" carrying a sign that read, “She doesn’t care, all she wants is the power”. Hill-Dawg supporters responded by shouting back and pushing the older woman out of the room.

Mrs. Clinton bounced back from the provocation saying, “One of the things I love about politics, you never know what the day will bring.”

The lady candidate learned how to handle hecklers from the best, as exemplified by her husband below.



FYI: Do yourself a favor and never perform a Google image search for "granny" with your adult content controls switched off. I'm still reeling from a flash exposure to senior citizen genitalia.

August 1, 2007

Clinton Nutcracker / Giuliani Bobblehead

Clinton Nutcracker / Giuliani Bobblehead


If you perform a search for the Presidential Candidates' names on eBay, you can get a fair idea of their popularity based on the number of items offered.

Here's how the race stacked up last night:

1. Hillary Clinton - 326 items
2. Barack Obama - 186 items
3. John Edwards - 185 items (incl. items for Psychic John Edwards)
4. Ron Paul - 128 items
5. Rudy Giuliani - 62 items
6. John McCain - 56 items
7. Mitt Romney - 18 items

It's interesting to see that Ron Paul is the only candidate using eBay as a campaign tool. Under his search results, you can bid for large packages of bumper stickers, yard signs and other marketing paraphernalia.

Of all the items offered for all of the candidates, the best right now are a "Hill-arious" 9-inch tall Hillary Clinton Nutcracker and a Rudy Giuliani bobblehead doll complete with his signature I'm-a-hero-of-9-11 New York Fire Department cap.

August 3, 2007

Rudy Giuliani: When He Had Hair

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Great Moments In Rudy Giuliani's Hair:

1968 - Giuliani graduates cum laude from New York University School of Law. Minor recession of hairline hints at eventual baldness.

March 1981 - Serving as Associate Attorney General, Giuliani is photographed with President Ronald Reagan. The part in his hair begins its transformation into a comb-over.

1994 – 2001 - Giuliani serves as Mayor of New York City. Comb-over becomes his style du jour.

September 2002 - Giuliani stops combing over the remnants of his once glorious head of hair. His natural look is received with wild enthusiasm by the bald community.

August 7, 2007

Rudy Giuliani Versus John McCain: TV Series Cameos





Today's challenge pits Rudy Giuliani's appearance on a 1993 episode of "Seinfeld" against John McCain's cameo on a 2006 episode of "24". Giuliani is playing himself. Senator McCain is playing the role of "office staffer". In today's world - though we might not want to admit, our President needs to be part-actor. He has to appear calm and cool in the face of chaos and catastrophe... and thats called acting. May the best man win.

*Note: McCain appears in the upper-left corner of the screen. As the candidate said himself about the cameo, "Don't blink."

August 8, 2007

Sad Dad Giuliani: Daughter Supports Obama

Sad Dad Giuliani: Daughter Supports Obama


Britain's Guardian Newspaper reported this morning that Rudy Giuliani's 17 year old daughter Caroline has signed up as a supporter for Barack Obama. The cute, young Giuliani teen added her name to "1 Million Strong for Barack", Obama's site on the social networking group Facebook.

A spokeswoman for Caroline Giuliani said that her Facebook listing was an expression of interest in "certain principles" rather than for an individual in the campaign.

When asked about the pretty teenager's support, Barack Obama replied, "That's very nice... I can't wait to meet her."

All of the stories found on VoteForBreakfast.com are 100% true.

August 9, 2007

John Edwards: A Black Woman?

John Edwards Is A Black Woman


According to CNN yesterday, Elizabeth Edwards (wife of Presidential Candidate John Edwards) said, "We can’t make John black, we can’t make him a woman... Those things get you a certain amount of fundraising dollars.” Mrs. Edwards was referring to two other Democratic Candidates, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, during an interview about the Internet’s role in the 2008 Presidential Election.

In fact, it is actually very easy to make John Edwards black, female or even turn him into a black female. Just use a popular computer program called Photoshop.

Having disproved Elizabeth Edwards' assertion that you can't make her husband black or a woman, we must assume the reason for their lackluster internet fundraising is not because of his ethnicity or gender. It's more likely because he's perceived as weak. Another contributing factor may be that there are no other wealthy white men in America complaining that they'd make more money if they were black or a woman. Such a statement could be interpreted by some American voters as being horribly insensitive and utterly, completely and entirely insane.

At this date, Edwards lags significantly behind Clinton and Obama in fundraising and in national polls.


Presidential Candidate Mr Breakfast will continue to point out the foibles and goofs of all the candidates (regardless of party) until they reveal a position on the importance of breakfast.

All of the stories found on VoteForBreakfast.com are 100% true.

August 13, 2007

Barack Obama Sings "Beautiful And Beloved Mexico"

Barack Obama Sings


Last Friday, Presidential Candidate Barack Obama was asked to name his favorite song on the popular syndicated Mexican-American radio show, "Piolin por la Manana."

Interested listeners may have expected Obama to answer "God Bless America" or "America The Beautiful". Instead, the candidate began singing lines to “Mexico Lindo y Querido (Beautiful and Beloved Mexico),” a song by Latin pop artist Maria Jose Quintanilla.

This is not made-up.

Listen to Barack Obama sing "Mexico Lindo y Querido".

Watch a performance of the song by Maria Jose Quintanilla.

Barack Obama has not yet announced a position on the importance of breakfast.

September 21, 2007

Flashback: John Edwards Sexiest Politician

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In November 2000, People magazine named John Edwards as its choice for the "sexiest politician alive."

Apparently that was the year that People Magazine went insane!

I can not really speak to sexiness of John Edwards, but do know a thing or two about sexy meals. Did you know breakfast actually makes YOU sexy? Eating breakfast helps keep you thin. (Researchers from the National Weight Control Registry, a database of more than 3,000 people who have lost at least 60 pounds and kept it off for an average of 6 years, found that eating breakfast every day was a weight control strategy for 78% of the people in the registry. People who kept off weight long-term also reported eating a low-fat diet and exercising for an hour or more each day.)

September 25, 2007

Mitt Romney: "You Sir, You're A Pretender"



Earlier, we examined how Hillary Clinton handles hecklers. This week we take a look at Mitt Romney. The video clip above is from a February 2007 appearance at the Lake Miona Regional Recreation Center in The Villages, Florida. Amongst the crowd of 800 people, one man stood up and accused Romney of being "a pretender", saying "You do not know da Lord... you're a Mormon".

The ultra-slick Romney chuckled and returned well-thoughtout statement about the importance of faith in America. The reply sounded so rehearsed that some speculated the heckler may have been planted in the audience so Romney could address the issue of his religion with public sympathy on his side.

Religious intolerance aside, the heckler in the video is great. His thick Chicago accent is remincient of Dan Acroyd's accent in The Blues Brother (see below) and his polite approach to heckling is endearing. After you watch the video, you may find yourself saying, "You sir... are a pretender." I said it to a lady friend yesterday when I found out the "grilled chicken" she served in my fajitas was actually baked. We laughed and laughed. It was great.


January 1, 2008

Exposed: Rudy Giuliani Married His Cousin

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It may seem like a romantic fairy tale. On the paradise of South Beach, Long Island, a little boy and a little girl build sand castles together during their respective family vacations. They get to know each other. They grow up together. They get married. The little boy becomes 107th Mayor of New York City. A beautiful love story made complicated by one small unfortunate detail... the boy and girl are cousins.

On October 26, 1968, Rudy Giuliani entered in to wedded bliss with the first of what would eventual total three wives. In a large Roman Catholic ceremony in the Bedford Park neighborhood in the borough of the Bronx in New York City , the future Presidential Candidate said "I do" to his sweetheart-since-childhood, Regina Peruggi. At the the time, young Rudy had just graduated from law school. Peruggi was a teacher and drug abuse counselor and... the the daughter of Giuliani's father's cousin. Our possible future-President had just married his own second cousin.

There are many who believe that the Holy union of cousins is relegated only to the deep South. Slanderous terms like "inbred hicks" and the less-offensive "kissin' cousins" bring to mind pictures of cut-off shorts and front porch swings. It's difficult to relate the concept of the cousin couple to the hustle and bustle of New York. But not only is marriage between cousins legal in New York, you can also marry your cousin in California, Florida, Texas and fi