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Thou Shalt Be Rudy Giuliani

June 12, 2007



And lo... thouest he was nearly struck by lightning at the recent Republican debate whilst he speaketh-ing about abortion, the Lord still sayeth "Rudy, thou shall write 12 commitments... for thouest must showeth that thou still be religious." And lo... so it was that Rudy Giuliani laid out his plan for America.

And woe.... that our nation's Fathers before him wrote Declarations and Constitutions to guide our great country. It was this day that Rudy Giuliani wrote a bullet-pointed list and titled it with word play on the the 10 Commandments. And so it was And dat be da truth.

Meanwhile in Los Angeles, a dude named Mr Breakfast gave the voters, not 12, but 178 recipes for pancakes.

While he was not (yet) able to turn water into wine, Mr Breakfast was able to turn flour, eggs and milk into some pretty decent flap jacks. And thus he said, "Please don't fall for Giuliani's cheap word play. If his policies and plans appeal to you, vote for him. But you really have to take points away from a guy who would draw parallels to his plan for office with the 10 Commandments. It's a dirty maneuver."


The Twelve Commitments (of Rudy Giuliani)

• I will keep America on offense in the Terrorists’ War on Us.
• I will end illegal immigration, secure our borders, and identify every non-citizen in our nation.
• I will restore fiscal discipline and cut wasteful Washington spending.
• I will cut taxes and reform the tax code.
• I will impose accountability on Washington.
• I will lead America towards energy independence.
• I will give Americans more control over, and access to, healthcare with affordable and portable free-market solutions.
• I will increase adoptions, decrease abortions, and protect the quality of life for our children.
• I will reform the legal system and appoint strict constructionist judges.
• I will ensure that every community in America is prepared for terrorist attacks and natural disasters.
• I will provide access to a quality education to every child in America by giving real school choice to parents.
• I will expand America’s involvement in the global economy and strengthen our reputation around the world.

Mentions about the Importance of Breakfast = 0

Posted on June 12, 2007 1:17 PM | Permalink