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Vote For Breakfast Campaign Clearly Defined

June 20, 2007



My press agent, the great Kellie Dancho at Lush Inc. Los Angles was approached this week by a certain afternoon talk show. They're interested in having your candidate on and it's been requested that we send them a short synopsis as to why The Vote For Breakfast Campaign is interesting and important. Naturally, I'm excited and extremely happy to spread our message to a new TV audience, but I have to wonder... do the other candidates have to submit a profile before they appear on a television show. The answer is no. And do you know why?

If you really have something to say... something new... something that can save America... then people want it on paper. Nobody wants a campaign synopsis from Hillary Clinton or Rudy Giuliani. There's an energy in the air my friends. Until now, the Presidential field resembled 20-odd carrots sauteing in a fry pan. Now let's add some bacon and watch this thing sizzle

Here's what we wrote:

About Mr Breakfast and the Vote For Breakfast Campaign


Mr Breakfast is running for President of the United Sates of America. His message is clear: breakfast can make America better. His plan to make our country great again does not start in 2008. It starts today. "We already have the tools for prosperity. We just need to use them."

Other candidates offer talk. "Mr B" (as he is affectionately known) offers facts and answers. He can also offer cooking demonstrations if requested.


Top 10 Reasons To Vote For Breakfast

1. Children who eat breakfast perform better on tests and have fewer problems in school. (Harvard University/Massachusetts General Hospital/Tufts University)
   
2. People who miss breakfast are four times more likely than others to become obese. (Harvard University)
   
3. A healthy relaxed breakfast sets the tone for a healthy relaxed day. (MrBreakfast.com)
   
4. Eating breakfast has an advantageous effect on mood, satiety and cognitive performance. (University of Health Sciences/Chicago Medical School)
   
5. Eating breakfast regularly improves memory. (University of Toronto)
   
6. A 12 year old who skips breakfast has the reaction time of a 70 year old in the classroom. (Reading University)
   
7. Individuals who miss breakfast tend to smoke more, drink more alcohol and exercise less than those who eat breakfast. (Helsinki University)
   
8. Skipping breakfast may lead to increased risk of heart disease in healthy people over time. (American Journal of Clinical Nutrition)
   
9. Children who don't eat breakfast are at a higher risk for tooth decay. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta)
   
10. Breakfast is delicious. (MrBreakfast.com)

 

The Goal

Mr Breakfast has admitted publicly that his run for the Oval Office is going to be an uphill battle. To quote the candidate, "The message is out there. We're gaining momentum. Whether we have the votes to sit in the big chair really isn't the issue. A vote for Mr Breakfast is a vote for a plan."

"I don't have Mitt Romney's slick hair. I don't have John Edward's fancy expensive suits. I'm just a bald guy who loves America. Forget for a moment that I'm the world's leading authority on breakfast. Forget the man who appears on top when you type "breakfast" into Google. Forget me. Pretend I'm dead. The idea... the incredible idea... that an alert and healthy America is a better America will live on. I'm giving you what you already have. It sounds like science fiction... but it's just a meal... a meal that creates smarter, healthier children... a meal that eradicates illness and addiction... a meal that can bring prosperity back to America."

In May and June of 2007, Mr Breakfast sent letters to every major candidate for President. The candidates were asked for their position on the Importance of Breakfast. Mr Breakfast even made the bold statement that he would drop out of the race if a better-chance candidate could prove a commitment to Breakfast in America. To date, the only response has come from a lower-tier representative of the Ron Paul Campaign. The response read, "A regular breakfast-eater, Dr. Paul firmly believes in the importance of the First Meal."

According to Mr Breakfast, "People who make decisions about your life and livelihood... are skipping breakfast. By noon, they're hungry, moody and fatigued. These are not the people I want deciding my future. Until the major candidates begin a serious discussion on the benefits of breakfast, I'm in this race. And as long as I'm in it... I'm in it to win it!"


"Mr B" Is Not A One-Trick Pony

While his priorities are clearly rooted in breakfast, a quick look at his official campaign website, voteforbreakfast.com, shows that the candidate is speaking out clearly and firmly on the other top issues of this election.

On Gay Marriage:
"I choose love. I choose man-woman love. I choose man-man love. I choose girl-girl love! I choose gender-bending love. Personally, I love breakfast..."

On Mexican Immigration:
"This issue is not a problem. It's an opportunity. Before we build walls, let's take one more shot at building friendship..."

On The War In Iraq:
"Let's bring our guys home. Get out of Iraq... and into Nutrition..."

Mr Breakfast is also pulling no punches when it comes to his competition. Until they begin a serious discussion on the Importance of Breakfast, "Mr B" has vowed to point out the foibles and questionable decisions of every candidate regardless of party or position. This is easy to see on his website which includes such headlines as "Bill Richardson Looks Like Dwarf Actor," "Hillary Clinton, Porn and Pancakes," and "John McCain: Prison Camp Arms".


Vote For Breakfast 2008

Mr Breakfast was asked recently what qualified him to be President. The candidate took a sip of his coffee and smiled. To his right was an American flag. To his left was a mural of the great cities and plains of the United States. His eyes began to mist, "I love Breakfast and I love America. I really do man."

Mr Breakfast... the only candidate with a policy on the importance of breakfast!

Posted on June 20, 2007 4:45 PM | Permalink